Hurdles

The one hurdle I didn’t plan for while I was planning Flesheaters for this years NaNoWriMo was my uncle’s illness. It never occurred to me that he would lose his fight with cancer– you can read my initial post about it here, though it’s now wildly outdated. Once I’m in a place where I can talk about it more openly, I certainly will, but in the mean time this post is going to focus on my writing more than anything else. Also, if you have the extra funds (I know it’s the holiday season, so I get it if you don’t), please consider donating to my Fuck Cancer campaign— I’m, well Everything is Awesome is, a brand ambassador for the non-profit.

It’s been three days since my uncle passed, but about a week or so since we found out that a scenario where we could lose him was more real than ever. It’s been hard for me to get back into anything since it all started. I’m back to work at my day job, but I can’t control that. But my “other” job? The one that pays nothing at all– the “Nerdy Kev” of it all if you will– I haven’t been able to get much done. I tell myself “tonight I’ll edit a podcast and work on the book”, but when Jen and the kids go to bed, I can’t bring myself to do it. Not that I’m Mr. Mom or anything, but I like to think that I try to keep things cleaned up– that’s even a challenge.

I realize I need to get back into it all; it’s part of the healing process. More so, I feel like I’m dishonoring his memory in someway. I don’t think he’d want me to put all these things I’ve worked so hard on, especially Everything is Awesome, on hold. Even though he’s always been a “you need to go to school” type of person, he is also the reason I do the things I do. Whether it’s pure influence or just to defy him in way (wrestling is probably the best example of that), I can trace most things back to him.

I suppose the point of this post is simply to recognize you can NEVER fully prepare for hurdles in your process– whether it’s for writing, podcasting, or anything really. It also partially serves as an update on my life and Flesheaters. More importantly, it’s helping me realize I need to get back to work on these things to honor my uncle. And when it comes to NaNoWriMo, I may be eight days behind, but I want to– maybe even need to– finish this project for my uncle. There are other things that I’ve jotted down that I want to do for him.

For now, the focus returns to Everything is Awesome and Flesheaters. Once again, thanks for all the kind words over the last few weeks. It means the world to me and my family.

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